Officer Florian - Florianopolis, Brazil

Floripa, Floripa! As soon as I stepped out of the cab and through the gate, I knew Jeffbeezy wasn't lying. And I quote:
"Best Hostel Vibe: Hostel Portunhol, Florianopolis, Brazil". Instantly I knew I'd chosen a great place to be.

A little history: In 2009, Bri, Mark and Muz traveled to Hostel Portunhol (Portuguese + Espanhol, since it's owned by a Brazilian and a Chilean) based on someone's recommendation to 'stop by Florianopolis' on the way from Iguazu Falls to Rio. Upon arrival, the hostel worker asked where they were from. "California," they said. "California...I like Incubus." "OHHHHH!"

I didn't need any more recommendations. And the rest, as they say, is history.

14 hours by bus southeast from Sao Paulo, Florianopolis (or Floripa or Flolipa) is a big island in the Brazilian state of Santa Catalina with endless beaches and beautiful, laid back people. As I traveled through Brazil, I would constantly tell people my travel plans. Everytime I mentioned Floripa, I got something along these lines: "oooooooooooh. I loved it there". In addition, my friend Tiago from Sao Paulo told me simply: "It is the best place I have ever been in my life". I don't know much about fun, but I like it. I'm IN!

Day 1:
Upon arrival, the rain began to fall. I met Lucho (aka INCUBUS himself!) and the only other hostel guest for the night, Dave from Australia. I threw down my stuff, joined the party and was having a great time with a couple beers in no time. The rain didn't stop, and it didn't stop the fun. When the yard started flooding over the steps to the hostel, Lucho says "Now we have a pool at Portunhol!" (best guess - his 40th time using that joke).
Like I said, these folks are LAID BACK and just have a good time; if there's 2 people or 200, rain or shine, hot or cold. They like to joke around and have FUN. About 15 minutes after getting there, Lucho decided we all needed to take some shots of home-made fruit-flavored cachaca (sugar cane rum - see picture below).

About 8 shots later (pineapple, tutti-fruity, cinnamon, etc.), I had to lie down and watch cooking shows before calling it a night. My immediate thought: this could be the best hand.

Honesty System - Take a beer/soda/water, write it down next to your name and pay at check-out. I kept it honest (honestly!) and wrote down everything I had. Same policy for internet use. Everyone else I know who's been here has done the same thing...

Portunhol Pool table - Narrowest pockets in Brazil

Day 2:
I woke up and it was still raining solidly. INSTANT STRESS! (Stuck inside, suckers!) No worries, I just grabbed some breakfast and chilled on the couch watching NetFlix while Fausto, co-owner of Portunhol, cooked us up some free brazilian food for lunch. Even though it was all fish and I couldn't partake, this place was gaining some fun points. I played a few games of pool and took a nice nap. When I woke up, there was a few more guests: Nacho from Uruguay and Estelle from Spain, and Belinda and Helen from Australia. Pool tournaments and sh*t talking with the other Co-Owner, Cris, and the party was in full swing. At this point it had been over 24 hours at the hostel and I still hadn't stepped out on to the street. I felt the lazy urge and ordered a pizza instead of going out.

Lucho playing some classic Incubus

Fausto and Cris serving up lunch for the Portuhol crew

The siesta area - hammocks, couches, tents, random flags with random sharpie messages written on them.

The night continued with more billiards with the P-squad. Learned a new game, called Killer, that fits in with my "Down with the group" mentality - any number of people can play! Somehow I used my beginners luck (which is very important in 'cups') and took home a W for team Boots. I pressed that luck later that night during a hold-em tourney covering 5 different nations' representatives (Chile, Brazil, Australia, Uruguay and Los Estados Unidos), and of course U-S-A took home the gold! R$30 for first place = free night at Portunhol!

Day 3:
No more excuses, I gotta see this beach! Portunhol advertises that they're within 100 meters of the beach, but I hadn't even gone 1 meter outside yet. I hung out and played pool and watched TV while waiting for the sun to come out. When it hit about 74 F, I finally made it out the gates! For about 45 minutes I laid on the beach at Barra da Lagoa, 100 meters away, just as advertised. After a sun session, I grabbed an acai (they DID have acai in Floripa!) and ate it on the beach. There was a group of 4 girls (this is a recurring theme, remember them) who 1. were speaking English, and 2. seemed to be having fun, so I introduced myself and we talked for a bit before I headed back home to my favorite hostel. Definitely thought "that's the last time I'll see those girls".

Back to the hostel and I picked up where I left off, chillaxation fest 2012. I noticed Dave and Fausto were sporting newly shaved heads, and it turned out Dave had himself a set of hair clippers on his travels (as well as 2 surfboards and a backpack). He was kind enough to lend them to me so I could faux-hawk and fade myself up, and I got to say goodbye to my fro-hawk. It received positive reviews from my new buddies. Then a couple Kiwis named James and Victoria checked in to the hostel. Things were filling up! Cris pulled up a youtube video of sandboarding and told us how to get to the dunes, and we were sold!

Cris (from Chile), Dave and Lucho

Day 4:
Luckily I woke up in time to delay the Kiwis from leaving for Sandboarding without me. I threw on my best sandboarding gear (my current pajamas) and we hit the bus out to the Praia Sao Joaquina sand-dunes to carve it up!

Telling the mountain whose the boss - it felt like a sandstorm up here. Notice the right edge where the sand is being blown from the wind. Here's Victoria biting my steez.

So how does one go sandboarding?
1) Get to the sand dunes
2) Look for the sand boards sitting out, ready for rental
3) Call the guy over from under the tree across the street
4) Pay him R$20, he asks you if you're regular or goofy (left or right foot forward) and gives you a piece of a candle to wax your board
5) GO CRAZY

Literally no instructions, no rules. Just get your board and hit the slopes! Only problem: these slopes don't come with a lift ticket. Once you enjoy your run, slap that board under your arm and get ready for a workout! It's hard to walk on the beach, but climbing a big dune with a 20lb wooden plank is no "piece of cake". James demonstrates the exhaustion of this endurance sport. Which reminds me of something Muz said about this. And I quote:
"Most tired human: Brian, post-sand dune climb in Florianopolis, Brazil".
Muito claro agora. Another thing that differs this activity from snowboarding is that you can't really maneuver yourself; there's no carving on the sand. You wax up, strap in, and point the tip straight down the mountain. Want to go heelside to slow down? Instant crash. The only success in this game (i.e. not falling) is to get to the bottom and step out of the bindings. Watch the master:

After about 7 runs up and down, the three of us were spent. Took a stroll down to Praia Sao Joaquina and spent a few hours and reals enjoying the sights.
The beach itself

Another big rock to climb on - this one complete with some tidepools and plenty of people making out in the heat.My (true) LAST acai - complete with big chunks of fresh strawberry, banana, guarana, condensed milk and granola. This was a meal.

Back to Portunhol for a much needed nap (in the exact same sandboarding clothes). On the bus home, some guy who claimed to be Fausto's friend was talking to us like crazy for some reason. He basically said we NEEDED to try the "shrimp sequence" at Dois Irmaos (2 Brothers) right on the beach. Basically a ton of shrimp (prepared 4 ways), fries, rice, gravy and some fish.
I ended up ordering one just for myself. OHHH, joke lang! The kiwis and I had to force in the flavor to try and finish this beast. We made the mistake of being skeptical and ordered some appetizers, but the added calories only made the victory sweeter in the end. Speaking of sweet...

Following the dinner, we noticed a weird "Ice Cream Parlor" slash "Money Exchange" and had to look in for ourselves. EXCELLENT CHOICE! First time I've ever seen a por quilo, scoop-it-yourself ice cream and toppings place (think yogurtland). Too bad I left my dollars at the hostel or I could've taken full advantage of the combo-store.

Later on, a couple Dutch girls, Petra and Taika, crewed it up at Portunhol. These kids were funny! They spoke great English but Taika only had one tone in which she spoke, making every comment (either sarcastic or sincere) difficult to read. Lucho decided it was time we learned to make caipirinhas, and like Shooter McGavin, said "here's a free lesson" (Caipirinha 101 - video coming soon!).
Petra - chopping up some limao for the good times
Taika - living la vida loca as always.

Day 5:
After abandoning my hopes of visiting other areas of the big beach island, I joined the Dutch girls for a visit to the beach. We brought along smashball rackets and found out that on wet sand, you can play "real feel" tennis on the sand! French Open clay court style. I summoned my best drop shots and volleys and handled Taika's massive second serves with Agassi-like skills. After laying there for a while, I woke up and Taika was showing Petra the proper technique to stand up on a surfboard for some reason. Ten minutes later, we're in rashguards and carrying massive 9-foot foam surfboards down the beach. I lived in San Diego for 8 years, traveled to Hawaii, the PI, Caribbean, Florida and Mexico, and for some reason never tried it. IF NOT NOW....WHEN? 28 years of life on Earth before I ever carried, laid on and stood on a surfboard, and boom! There it was: I had surfed! Taika even told me: "I think you are very talented." Another one of those "why haven't I done this before?!" moments. The only drawback: Unfortunately, I didn't clip my toenails and ended up breaking both my big boys, but all good.

We returned the boards and powered in another round of sand tennis and caught the sunset before heading back to the hostel.


Dog buddy #1, Taika, Petra, Dog buddy #2. Floripa is covered in stray, filthy, stinky beach dogs. At least 25 on the beach at any given time. These Dutch girls loved to pet them and tried several times to adopt one to bring back as a Portunhol mascot (I think they succeeded for a day after I left).

Dinner that night was at another restaurant directly on the beach, but more of a carnivore affair. Thick-cut and battered steak deep friend and covered in thin slices of ham served with fries and rice. Life here sucks! P90 diet starts Monday.
As if that wasn't enough for one day, Cris insisted that the samba rock party down the street was the place to be on a Friday night. I wasn't sure I believed him, since Cris seemed to hate fun and love stress. I took a leap of faith and headed out with him and the NEVERlands Ranch crew.
Owning the bridge
SAMBA ROCK! Boardshorts and flip-flops all over, my kind of club.

Fun story: The beach bars usually close up at night if it's not poppin. Dutch and Dutcher wanted to take a picture of them "bartending" and serving Cris a drink. So they ran through to a dark, closed bar and were getting into position...when they just started SCREAMING and running!


When they went behind the bar, they encountered a sleeping homeless person and woke him up. When they realized it was a human, they ran away screaming. Good times. I think they tried this EXACT SAME SCENARIO at a different spot and found the SAME guy the next day. It's a small world.

Day 6:
How have I already been here 6 days? The ultimate time-free zone. Up early to get packin and try the surf out one last time before departure. Ended up renting a lighter, smaller board to see if my "talent" was all it was cracked up to be. Unfortunately, the waves were smaller and a smaller lighter board makes it harder to GET ON UP. I spent about 2 hours in the water, caught a couple waves, broke a fin on my board (this is what happens with no lessons) and carried it back and paid a R$15 repair bill. Most productive morning since I've been in South America.

They don't call me Jony "Big Kahuna" Boots for nothing

Quick shower, quick packing, quick goodbyes, and I was off to the next rodoviaria heading for Iguazu Falls. Of all the places I had been so far (in LIFE), I have never been sadder leaving than I did when I left Floripa. Easily could've stayed another 2-100 weeks. I will DEFINITELY be back soon.

Thanks to the PORTUNHOL crew! Don't change a thing! PEACE!